“I want to practice Wicca but my parents won’t let me.” This is a very frequently heard statement from teens who wish to practice Wicca and other Pagan religions. Unfortunately, there isn’t a whole lot that can be done if your parents are dead set on keeping you from practicing Wicca. They are your guardians and they are responsible for your spiritual as well as your physical upbringing. Yes, I’m sure that you feel that you know what is best for your spiritual self but you still aren’t an adult and legally you have little to stand on.
So, what can you do? First, you can suggest to your parents or guardians to read up on what Wicca truly is. There are a few books out there as well as websites that have articles addressing this issue. One book that you can suggest is Scott Cunningham’s book titled “The Truth about Witchcraft Today”. It’s a small book and not expensive.
Here, however, are a few facts that you can discuss with your parents. First, explain that Wicca isn’t a cult. It is a recognized religion in the United States and Britain. Even the military’s chaplain’s book on religion has it listed with a short explanation as to its practices. Second, Wicca does not worship or even recognize the devil. The devil is a construct of Christian beliefs and other Abrahamic religions and has nothing to do with Wicca. Third, Wicca, though a fairly new religion, is based on very old beliefs and practices, some of it dating back before Christianity.
You should also sit down and really figure out what you believe so that you can share that with your parents. So, share with them what you think about reincarnation, The Wicca Rede and what it means to you and the Three-Fold Law. Be sure you can share with them what it means to you to be Wicca and how it can and does empower you to be your own person and make you grow as a person. Don’t throw a tantrum and yell at them about how unfair it all is that they won’t let you do what you want. That will only show them that you are not mature enough to make such a serious decision about your religious and spiritual self. Talk calmly to them and discuss it with them in a mature manner.
So, what do you do if your parents are dead set against you practicing Wicca or any Pagan religion even after you’ve had that talk with them about what it is and what it isn’t? Well, I certainly will not suggest that you lie to your parents and practice on the sly. Something you need to remember is that lying only weakens you spiritually and magically. Also, your parents won’t think kindly of you and your new religion if you go sneaking around behind their backs.
Remember that your parents are coming from the stand point of their religion which is probably telling them that anything that isn’t like their religion is totally wrong. But, that doesn’t mean there is nothing you can do. You can study mythology and ancient history. You can also study herb and plant lore and astronomy. Yeah, astronomy will be very helpful when you leave home and can start your studies on things like astrology. Save your Wicca studies for when you leave home as an adult and live on your own. There is plenty of time to study Wicca. You will find all that other studying that you did will become very helpful in your Wicca studies.
“My parents will let me read up and study Wicca but they won’t let me burn candles or incense.” This happens a lot with young practitioners. Your parents might see that burning candles and incense in your bedroom as a fire hazard and they are correct. What you need to remember is that your practice isn’t dependent on your burning candles and incense or in owning a bunch of tools. Wicca is a personal spiritual experience and all that stuff is not needed for you to be spiritual. You can do your worship with nothing but yourself. The Goddess and God aren’t interested in your fancy tools. They are interested in what is inside you and your devotion to them. So, don’t worry about the fact that you don’t own a fancy athame or cauldron, those things will come to you in time. Just keep the Goddess and God in your heart and you’ll find that your worship will be very fulfilling.
You should be open and honest with your parents about what you are studying. They just want to be sure that you are safe, so, don’t do anything behind their backs. They will probably want to know from where and whom you are getting your information. They aren’t trying to control all aspects of your life; they just want to be sure you are safe. Also, if they say “no coven” then that means “no coven”. Most covens won’t even take on those that are under 18 years old anyway. Talk to your parents about maybe you having a study group with like-minded friends of your own age and meet at each other’s homes or study on your own. Just remember to be upfront and open with your parents about everything.
So, if your parents say no or even yes, be up front and open with them and above all be honest. This isn’t about shocking your parents or a reason to disobey them. Wicca is a serious religion that requires serious study and work. You will get nowhere in your spiritual path by lying to your parents. As I said before, lying only weakens you spiritually and magically.